The Do's & Don'ts: "How to Be A Good Friend to a Person with Cancer"
(Provided by The Wellness Community)
DO...
...offer your prescence often, be a good listener when they are ready to talk
...talk about things other than their cancer
...say "I love you" and be yourself
...ask what you can do to help - be sincere and specific so they know you mean it. If they can't come up with anything ask again in another week or so.
...use disposable dishware when delivering food to reduce the stress of returning them.
...arrange a phone chain to update friends on their condition, treatment, etc. (Be sure to get approval first!)
...offer to help by driving them to appointments, taking their kids to childcare and doing housecleaning, gardening, cooking, shopping, yardwork or babysitting.
...respect how they choose to deal with their cancer.
...tell them about the support, education and hope they can find at the Wellness Community!
DON'T...
...tell them that everything is going to be alright because you don't know.
...tell them you know how they feel because you probably don't.
...be afraid to admit that you don't know what to say when you are at a loss for words.
...be afraid to touch them, but don't force it either.
...hesitate to call them or leave them a message to let them know you're thinking of them.
...avoid the subject of cancer if that's what they want to talk about.
...be afraid to talk about your life. Just because they are sick doesn't mean they are not interested in hearing about you.
...discount the real feelings they may be having by telling them not to feel that way, not to worry, not to be scared or not to cry.
...share advice unless asked.
...be afraid to talk about a difficult subject. Ask them how they're feeling.
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